I have something to say!


Build your self-esteem by recalling all the ways you have succeeded, and your brain will be filled with images of you making your achievements happen again and again. Give yourself permission to toot your own horn, and don’t wait for anyone to praise you. Jack Canfield

It’s Monday which means a new week just started and there are only 3 Mondays left until I am finally a dentist. I can’t believe it. I must admit that it makes me super scared as well. I just don’t feel „old“ enough. You know? I mean I always thought once I am done with studying at University I am going to be this grown up person, ready to go into the world of working. I actually think that if I didn’t have started blogging that it might just have been going in that direction. But due to the fact that I am really thinking about what I am doing and trying to  focus on spending time with myself. I just realize that I think that there is more in this world for me than just being a dentist.
I have been going through some rough times as a child, as a teenager and even as an adult which all started out with being bullied at school for being fat.

I can tell you that I am still not all the way there yet, in finding out what I truly want and who I really am but I want to help the people out there who are feeling this way to actually tell them that they are not alone.

The reason why I started blogging was that I thought so highly of bloggers… I always thought that they were honest real people and had a lot to say. I thought that the bloggers were there to help one another but since it became such a huge deal and people realized that you can actually make money with what you are doing nearly everyone is a blogger now. And most of the bloggers out there are just in for the goodies. I mean don’t get me wrong it is amazing to get something for what you are working so hard for. But as soon as Instagram and Facebook made it possible to just buy your way to the top it became such a huge sea of bloggers that you can’t even see the persons behind it anymore. Today bloggers are just „bloggers“ they are not different people with different names or different styles and different opinions.

But that is not why I became a blogger. I wanted to focus on the real stuff! With a little fun around it.
I don’t want to hate on anyone in this post as it really is very difficult for me as well to put it out there and I know with everyone always smiling or being the coolest and most good-looking person you sometimes kind of get ashamed of who you really are. And I am sure this does not only happen in  the „blogger sphere“ but also to everyone that is on Instagram. But you shouldn’t feel less because you don’t have that perfect body or that perfect hair or even that super expensive Chloé bag. Because where would it take us? Wouldn’t it be super boring?
The reason why I read certain blogs or watch certain YouTubers is because they have something to say or they kind of help me see life differently and mostly in a better way.
It’s not human to always be happy and always post about happy stuff! You are allowed to cry and have a rough day and feel the way you are feeling from time to time. You shouldn’t lock it all away because all those other people seem to have it all. It is not healthy…
And I want to change that. I want you to come on here and I want you to know how I actually feel today or yesterday or even the last week.

And especially guys, stand up for yourself and your feelings! If you are not behind yourself, who will it be?
I know how difficult it is and I am not the person with the biggest self-esteem but I am trying to work on it and I am just trying to make this world a better place, be a better friend or a better person at all.

It’s difficult and yes I sometimes lose it – but I think it’s a part of growing up we have to do.

xx Nicki


Jacket: Guess
Top: Zara
Jeans: Mango
Overknees: Topshop
Belt: Bik Bok
Piercings: Amazon


Foundation: Urban Decay
Brows: Maybelline
Lip Stick: Yves Saint Laurent
Eye-Shadow: Urban Decay Naked 2 Pallette